Continuum
by Doventa
Summary: I am a good person. I don't party and I don't run off with my friends in the middle of the night. I love my father too much to do that; I love my perfect plans for the future to ruin any of them. I am a good girl. But then why does he attract me? His darkness is too much to handle, it colors his eyes and every smile. I hate him. He hates me too. [All human AU]
1. Chapter 1

"Don't forget your gloves, Bonnie! It's cold outside!" I hear my father's voice coming from upstairs. I nod, not even thinking about the fact that he wasn't there to see it.

"See you later!" I yell, slipping through the door and out into the freezing cold that momentarily makes me want to go back inside.

And yet my feet start carrying me away from convenient comfort that did surround me in my room and down the street to… _nowhere_.

I moved to the town of Mystic Falls only few days ago. My father was offered a new job and I, well, I had little to no say in the matter. I was somewhat happy. _Somewhat_. I knew that the opportunity was too great for my father to decline and he desperately needed a change of scenery. The divorce affected him more than he allowed to show, yet I saw it. I saw the pain and the loneliness in his eyes, I saw him losing focus and staring into the distance far too often. I wasn't too thrilled to leave my old school and my friends, yet I knew that I had to do it. After all, I wanted nothing but happiness for him.

Freezing wind tousles my hair and I pull my scarf up even more, only my eyes and little part of my nose remains not covered by bulky material.

I don't know where I'm going. Actually, I don't even know this town to make up my mind about the route. I know where the school is, but, obviously, it's not where I want or should be going on Sunday afternoon. Despite that, I take the first turn left, aware that it would take me to the main street. And I will figure out what to do once I'm there.

Even if the weather leaves little to be desired, I enjoy the setting. The house we chose was behind a white picket fence and so were all the other houses in the neighborhood. It was a drastic change from what I was used to – hectic rhythm of New York streets, never ending parties and sirens outside. We lived in a massive apartment building and therefore this place was just… a gust of fresh air.

I was never known for being a party person. When my friends and classmates were going to yet another party, I chose to stay at home and study instead. Yes, one might say that I was somewhat of a boring person. I would call it _smart_. After all, I was too invested in my future to make any other choices. I wanted to graduate with best grades in order to get full scholarship in Boston University. Journalism was what called to me and I knew that Boston was where I would be able to make my dream come true.

I was wrapped up in my dream so much that I almost ran off into a busy street, but somehow I managed to snap out of it before my foot landed into what surely could have been my demise.

The thought makes me giggle; off course I was exaggerating. Yes, it was the main street of this town, however I saw three cars passing by in what could only be compared with turtle speed. It was so new to me – not to see traffic jams, angry drivers and foul gestures they would show one another. Even on Sunday afternoon. Even on icy roads.

I search my surroundings, looking for something – anything – that would make me feel remotely interested. It seems as if the city is sleeping. Deep slumber; everyone is probably wrapped up in blankets and spending their time in front of the fireplace with their loved ones.

The chill that seem to course through my bones makes me want to do the same.

My gaze stops on a place called "Mystic Grill" and I decide to head there in an attempt to be somewhere warm and get a cup of tea that would at least warm my hands. The door creeks when I enter and I remove my scarf before looking around.

Just as expected – the bar is almost empty. I see few guys shooting pool and few people sitting behind the bar, but there are only three of them. Give or take.

"Hey, what can I get you?" A blue-eyed boy asks me as soon as I am in the hearing distance. He has a lovely smile, I notice.

"I… Tea, please." I answer. _Smooth, Bonnie_.

"It's cold outside, isn't it?" He laughs and I notice that his laughter is pleasantly chiming. "What kind of tea would you like?"

"Green, if you have any. Thank you." I give myself some points for managing to finally let a decent sentence out. It's not that he makes it nervous; maybe I'm simply not used to this little-town attitude. "Yeah, it is cold. I'm glad I still have all my fingers."

He lets out another wave of laughter whilst busying himself with the tea and I do the same.

Unwillingly I take off my coat. It's warm here, however I'm still too cold for comfort. Putting my hands to my mouth I breathe warm air in a meek attempt to get a bit warmer. Rubbing my palms together I sit on the stool and rest my elbows on the wooden bar top. It takes another half a minute before a steaming cup of tea is in front of my and blue eyes rest on my face.

"Careful, it's hot." He warns me and I push the desire to roll my eyes away. "Are you new here? I mean I haven't seen you before. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm Matt!"

He introduces himself hastily and I see his cheeks becoming a light shade of pink.

"Nice to meet you, Matt. I'm Bonnie." I answer as charmingly as I can, trying to hold a smile back. My hands hover over the cup for a while. "I moved here few days ago, yes. Still haven't had a chance to take a decent tour around the town."

"I'd love to say that there's a lot to see, but I would be lying." He answers and chuckles.

I know he must be right. The town isn't very small, however it looks like one where nothing ever happens. Surrounded by woods it deserves to be called a town in the middle of nowhere.

I grin.

"I suppose I will have to make the best of it." I answer and before I could even think about asking him for any tips, I hear the door slam behind me and see his gaze shoot that direction.

I can't quite explain what I see in front of me. It's like his expression changes in a second's time. It was somewhat worried. Or irate. Or both.

"Picked up another shift in this hole, Donovan? Life must be difficult for you." I hear a barking wave of laughter and turn my head just slightly to look at the scene behind.

I see three guys grinning and elbowing each other as if proudly encouraging for yet another foul joke. I can't help it but feel sorry for Matt. If anything, he was the first person that was nice to me. My gaze returns back on him and I see his jaw tense. I'm afraid that this would turn into something more serious, but instead of pouring fuel into the fire, he remains silent and starts cleaning the glasses and putting them away.

I hear few more remarks coming from them, but this time they are more silent and not directed at Matt. My fingers meddle with the cup and I lift it to take a sip that still burns my tongue. Even if so, the warmth soothes me and helps me to take my mind off of the boys.

"Let's go, he's not here." I hear one bark out a command and a moment later they're gone just as unexpectedly as they arrived.

"What was that?" I ask and then mentally slap myself after it's too late. Clearly this was not the best subject for a conversation, yet my curiosity always took the best of me. "Sorry, I mean… I don't want to pry."

"It's fine." He's too vague for me to believe him, but I stop myself from asking any more questions.

Matt keeps himself busy all the time I'm there and I immediately understand that our little chat was as good as dead.

I drink my tea quickly. Even if it burns my tongue and lips, I'm itching to leave as soon as possible. Despite the previous pleasantries, the mood became too awkward and I felt like my time to leave has come.

After the mug is empty I take a bill out of my pocket and leave it next to it before grabbing my coat and wrapping my scarf around my neck. He notices that I'm being too hasty, but doesn't say anything. Not that I expected him to.

"Be careful out there." He tells me after I mumble a _goodbye_ and somehow I know that it's not the cold or the ice that he is warning me about.


	2. Chapter 2

It's already dark when I leave and, from what it feels like, it's ten times colder too. I bury my face in the scarf and my hands in the pockets before turning left and starting my journey back home.

I chose another route this time. Despite the cold, I still want to take a walk before I go back. I don't mind sitting in my room and I have things to catch up with before classes start tomorrow, but I just as much need to get acknowledged with the town I will spend another year in.

Matt was right – there's not much to see, but it still makes me curious. Maybe it's because of all the books I read, but I don't quite believe in such idyll. It makes me wonder just what kind of secrets might be hidden under it.

Shaking my head I let out a muffled chuckle. _Yeah, Bonnie, read some more novels_.

Voices in close distance make me turn my head to the nearest alley where I make out the silhouettes of four people laughing and cursing at one another. For a moment I catch myself staring, but the thought that I have no desire to socialize with people who spend their evenings out in the cold darkness makes me continue.

"Hey, wait!" I hear one of them yell and I hope to God that this wasn't meant for me. Instead of waiting I do the opposite, but I can hear footsteps in the snow catching up. I don't want a scene and instead I hope that my submission might just be what they didn't expect. I also hope that it won't take long to get them off my back.

I would smile as I turn around, but I find it unnecessary as half of my face is covered.

"Yes?" I use my most polite voice ever, trying to fight them off with kindness.

"Hey… do you have a light?" The boy asks, taking deep breaths as if he just ran a marathon. I grin at his theatric effort and shake my head.

"No. I don't smoke." I answer, looking at him for another fraction of a second before turning around on my heel and proceeding towards where I was going.

I was already taking a deep breath, at ease that the confrontation ended better than expected, however I stop halfway and let out a silent whimper at a feeling of someone's hand on my wrist. Before I even manage to react or pull my arm free, the boy tugs it, making me turn around to face him.

His face is so close to mine that I can smell cigarettes and alcohol on his breath.

"It's a damn shame." He says, voice changing into a hiss. Gone were the previous pleasantries and nonchalant words exchanged. I tremble in fear and anger mixing inside me and give a valiant attempt to set myself free. He doesn't let go, though.

"Let. Me. Go." I speak, trying to swallow my fear. To my surprise I sound more angry than afraid, however it only makes him laugh at me.

"Hey, Jake. What do you have there?" I hear the voice coming from behind and can see all three boys emerging. Now I'm _really_ afraid.

I was thinking about kicking him and running for my dear life, however that plan failed. What are the chances that I can escape four of them?

Suddenly my anger fades; maybe it's for the best. God knows what would happen if I provoked any of them.

"Oh, relax babe. I just want to ask you out on a date." He proceeds, wide grin tugging at the corners of his lips. The gang behind him starts laughing like a pack of hyenas. All except one.

I notice him when examining them all. He stands just a bit further from them, hands in his pockets and dark gaze on me. He doesn't smile and doesn't laugh with them, but he doesn't help me either. I thought of him as my only hope, but now I understand that this is not him disagreeing with them. It's him being indifferent.

"So, what do you think?" The boy is still holding my wrist and his question makes me turn his gaze back to him.

"I…" My voice breaks and that makes all three of them laugh even more. "I have a boyfriend. Sorry."

It was the first thing that came to my head. It sounded childish and was a complete lie, but no better ideas would come. I just pray that he can't hear my heartbeat as it's ringing in my ears louder than church bells.

"And _I_ ," I know he mocks me when emphasizing the _'I'_ part, but that's the least that I'm worried about. "Don't really care."

He leans in even closer and I can swear that my heart skips a beat. I'm afraid of what he's going to do next.

"Come on, Jake, let's go!" I hear one of his friends say before laughing and my gaze immediately goes to him. Despite the fact that he stood there before, I'm thankful him for being the sanest one. Before returning to the perpetrator, my gaze lingers on the silent one. It doesn't seem that he moved at all.

"Yeah… she's a prude anyways." One they called _Jake_ answers and laughs. It sounds more like a bark than laughter, but he lets me go and I immediately wrap my arms around myself.

Three of them laugh and nudge each other as I watch them go, but the fourth one is still there. I can feel his eyes on me and it makes me cringe more than the other boy did. I don't know why. Maybe it's because of his silence or that impenetrable indifference, but it makes me feel tiny and more scared than I ever was.

"Come on, Kai!" All three of them yell.

The boy, _Kai_ , doesn't seem to react and at that point I'm silently begging him to. I know I could turn around and run, but something keeps me standing there. Maybe because I feel like he's a rabid animal I should never turn my back on. Maybe because as soon as I do he will rip me apart.

I, however, don't have to ponder for too long as he himself turns around and walks away.

It's over. I know it. And yet the lump in my throat seems to be stuck here. Only now I'm yet again aware of the freezing cold, just this time it was coming from inside too. I watch them disappear in the distance as few snowflakes land on my nose.

I tilt my head just slightly, looking at snow dancing in the sky above me. Under any other circumstances I would clap in joy, however turning in my stomach doesn't let me enjoy it.

I start walking, practically running, back home and I don't rest until I'm inside and my back is on the locked door.

"What happened?" My father emerges from the kitchen and I recognize the shade of concern on his face.

"I… um… nothing." I finally answer, perfectly aware that my tone of voice doesn't back my statement up. For a moment I wanted to tell him, I was aching to, but I knew that he would feel guilty for dragging me here and that was the last thing I wanted.

So instead I take my scarf of revealing the bravest and widest – and also fake – smile I could muster. He seems a bit more relaxed after seeing it.

"It's very cold outside." I chuckle and theatrically rub my hands together, continuing with my easy breezy attitude until I can see that he starts buying it. His shoulders relax and eyes start gleaming again. My father _is_ an easy man to read.

"I made dinner." He announces and heads back to the kitchen.

"Will be there in a jiffy!" I yell, running up the stairs and into my room.

Here I shed my smile and take a deep breath. I run my fingers through my curls, trying to gather myself whilst looking for my sweats. The comfort of home and oversized sweater helps and after few more breaths I hurry to the kitchen.

The next half an hour is somewhat soothing. I am so hungry that I eat two servings all while briefly telling my father about the walk. I skip the encounter part altogether, focusing on how nice people – or just Matt – are here and we share a laughter when I tell him that I was warned about the dullness of this town.

My father is not a talkative man and it makes it easier tonight. I know that if he insisted and kept on pushing, I would tell him about what happened, but instead both of us sit and eat in silence and I thank God for that.

After the dinner I volunteer to take care of the dishes and my dad retreats to his room. I hear sounds coming from his TV and sigh knowing that he wouldn't hear it.

I catch myself mesmerized by water. Fingers absent-mindedly play with soap bubbles whilst my mind wanders here and there. I'd love to say that I'm thinking about school or how many friends I will make, but more often I catch myself remembering what happened this evening. And even more surprising is the fact that it's not Jake, his snake-like grin or his hand on me that I think about, but the silent boy who wouldn't stop staring. I catch myself thinking about the color of his eyes, but the only thought that comes to me is that they were _pitch back_.

I shake my head, trying to brush off unsettling memories and climb up the stairs. I feel tired to the point where I almost drag my feet across the hallway and into my room; the adrenaline that was previously coursing in my blood has gone, taking whatever energy it could. I feel too tired to change or even get under the sheets and the moment my head hits the bed I fall asleep.

That night I toss and turn in my dreams. At first I dream of standing in an empty street, watching snow fall, but as soon as I look away from the sky I see Kai. I see him standing in the distance, his eyes glued on me and I myself can't look away anymore. After a moment of staring I notice that it's not snow that's falling on my shoulders and getting in my hair. It's ashes.


	3. Chapter 3

Persistent beeping of my alarm finally wakes me up. I groan and pull the blanket over my head after silencing it. My head hurts and I can barely keep my eyes open already and not even a minute passed after waking up.

"Bonnie, get out of the bed or you'll be late!" I hear my father's voice coming from downstairs and it makes me nearly jump in my bed.

My fatigue was so overpowering that I completely forgot it's Monday and that my life as a student starts today. Again.

I force myself out of the bet, cringing when my feet touch the cold floor. I welcome the coolness, though, hoping that it will be what keeps me awake today.

It seems that the mirror is taunting me as I examine my reflection in it. I run my fingers through my hair and brush them across my eyes that feel puffy. I'm not a pretty sight and it's more than obvious that I look tired as hell. My dark complexion looks considerably paler and if I cared but at all about how I look to others, I would be worried.

But instead I tie my hair in a messy bun and slip into blue jeans and loose sweater before making it downstairs. I know that I'm not here to get a boyfriend or be the high school queen. And it makes it so much easier not to care about how I look.

Dad takes me to school and wishes me luck before driving off. I know it's a big day for him too and it makes it somewhat easier for me, knowing that we will have what to talk about back at home this evening. If anything, I'm happy that he has what to take his mind off of what has happened with. My anxiety fades in comparison.

"Move! You're blocking the way!" I hear and before I can react someone nudges me with an elbow and hurries to school. Lost in thought I completely forgot that I was standing in the middle of the sidewalk, creating inconvenience. My eyes follow the boy as I frown and rub my side, it doesn't hurt, but it also wouldn't hurt him to be more civilized, now would it?

So far I'm not impressed by this town or people that much. Off course, there was one exception, but unless I want to frequent a local watering hole, I was stuck with kids that were either rude or plain creepy.

I push the memories as far away as possible and finally start walking towards the building. First thing that awaits is a visit to the administration and then I'll have many hours to survive before I can get home and catch up on sleep that I missed so terribly.

After a pleasant little conversation with Mrs. Finch, she hands me my schedule for the semester and wishes me luck. I leave her office that smells of cinnamon and orange and step back into the crowded hallway. I still have fifteen minutes until the class starts, but I decide not to waste time and head to the classroom instead.

"Hey! Bonnie!" I hear a familiar voice behind me calling out my name and I spin on my heel immediately, causing Matt to almost knock me over.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't think you heard me." He apologizes, catching me as I stumble and helping me to steady up.

"I'm just glad I didn't end up on the ground on my first day." I answer witch a chuckle which makes him join me too. Little shade of worry is gone and he looks like his cheerful self I met in the bar again. "I didn't know you were still in school."

"Yeah. Student by day, bartender by night." He says with another chuckle. I notice dimples in his cheeks and how comforting it is to have him laugh.

"If anything, it sounds exciting." I remark and smile. "I was thinking about getting a job too. It's time to start being a responsible person."

I see his eyes widen and it makes me guess just what exactly is he thinking. And yet before I even start parting my lips, two girls emerge from the crowd and run to us. The blonde one wraps her arm around his and the brunette rolls her eyes just slightly.

"Hi, I'm Caroline!" The blonde almost screeches and it makes my eyebrow shoot up. I'm not used to such cheerfulness and my pounding head doesn't help me stomach loud noises just yet.

"Oh yeah. This is Caroline and she is Elena." Matt finally speaks, looking just a tad uncomfortable by having to be the one who introduces us. I nod. "And her name is Bonnie. She is new here."

" _Weeeeeeell_ , I bet you will have tons of fun here!" Caroline almost jumps up and down and it makes me wonder where she gets all her energy from. If it comes in a shape of a pill, I'm almost tempted to ask her to hook me up.

"Or you will study hard and have a bit less fun because not everything is a never ending party, Caroline." Elena speaks and I immediately start liking her. She looks more calm and collected, but a little smile that's playing on her lips is what makes me certain that she's not like that because she's grumpy. I would call it _maturity_.

"Let's get going. Class starts in few minutes." Matt speaks and drags Caroline – who is still holding to his arm – away. She mumbles at Elena who casts me another look and mouths a _good luck_ before joining them.

I watch them disappear, thinking that, despite everything, I might actually enjoy this school. Quirky and all.

I almost run to the classroom and only once I'm inside and aware that I'm not late I start breathing again. Others look at me, some indifferent, others trying to hide a chuckle, but it doesn't bother me at all. I see two empty seats in the first row and take a seat before getting ready for class.

I fish a history book out of my bag and place it neatly on the table before doing the same with my notebook and a pen. I wouldn't call myself a control freak, but having everything tidy and done my own way makes me feel better.

The bell rings and the teacher is still not there. While the others take it as a chance to share gossip, I open up the book and start reading. I don't want to turn too much attention and so busying myself with the book is a far better alternative than to sit there looking at others.

I get so focused on what's written that only few moments later do I realize that someone is casting a shadow on white pages and my table. Even though socializing is the farthest thing, curiosity takes over and I tilt my head to look at the one who's blocking the light only to feel my heart dropping.

Standing there, right next to me is Kai. The one I saw yesterday, the one I _dreamt_ of today. Even in the environment where I know I'm safe, he makes me feel terrified. Something about his gaze is chilling and I can't help it but shiver slightly.

"You're in my seat." I hear him say, but his words sound like an echo.

I always laughed at those scenes at movies where, if someone dramatic happens, voices are distorted to fit the setting. It seemed so unrealistic to me. Or so it was until this moment.

"Didn't you hear me?" He questions again, eyebrows rising up, however not as a sign of interest. He looks rather _annoyed_.

"I'm… I'm sorry." My voice cracks as I croak an apology and stand up. Even though there is a seat right next to him, I instantly start looking around for one as far away as possible. Every each one seems to be taken and, more than that, it seems like this little scene we caused caught everybody's attention. I would blush if I wasn't petrified.

Unwillingly I take a seat next to him and bury myself in the book again. It's only a cover as I'm too distracted to pay any attention at what's written. I try to steal a glance at his direction, but once my gaze travels to the side, I see him staring at me and it makes me dart my eyes down.

What the hell?

I can almost feel his gaze burning the side of my head and as I glance once more, his eyes are still on me. This time, however, I see his lips curved in a little smirk, that looks even more unsettling. It doesn't remind me of Matt's smile but at all. Whilst Matt looked cheerful and soothing when he smiled, this boy was positively frightening. It was like his smile was a messenger of all evil.

"Good morning, class! Sorry I'm late." I hear the voice and turn my head to the door. I can feel Kai's eyes leave me as he does the same and I exhale thanking the teacher for his good timing. I relax just slightly in my seat and promise myself not to pay attention to whatever that creep was doing.

"Well, who can remind me where we finished off?" I fight the instinct to lift my hand as I always do, reminding myself that I'm new here and this question is not for me to answer. Yet.

"Mr. Saltzman?" I hear deep lazy voice coming from my left and I immediately know whom it belongs to. I notice how his tone carries something else. Glee. "I think the new girl should introduce herself."

My jaw drops and I immediately look at him in awe. He just ruined my plan to sit here unnoticed and do what I came here to do – learn. But instead he pushed me into public humiliation as I hated these introductions the most. I've done fair share of them before and I hated each and every time I had to do so.

"Sure. Bonnie, is it?" The teacher calls me and I see Kai grin as he does so. His gaze meets mine and he's nothing but amused at my bewildered expression. After a second of staring he winks.

That bastard.


	4. Chapter 4

I linger in the corner of school cafeteria with a tray full of food, exhaling the residual anger that remained. Hell, it wasn't residual at all. I was still fuming at the way he outed me and made me stand in front of the class like a mumbling mess. Certainly, others found it hilarious, but my definition of what has happened was far from that.

"Bonnie!" I hear and scan the crowd until I see Matt's arm waving in the air as he gestures towards the table. "Come join us!"

Under different circumstances I would love the fact that I have someone to eat lunch or talk to, but in my current state of mind I know that it will be less than pleasant. For both him and me.

I make my way towards the table and slump in the seat like a sack of potatoes.

"Bad day?" Matt questions, but I don't bother to look at him.

"Bad year." I mumble, realizing just how close to the truth it was.

Ever since my mom left us, life became somewhat of a struggle. Especially for my father. I knew that their marriage was not meant to last and even if I missed my mother being around, there was no chance in the world that they could make it. I was surprised that they managed to be together for that long.

But once she left, problems that were once hers dawned on my shoulders. I know that my father is trying his best, however he was too busy and too broken to do anything but work. I was not only responsible for my homework and classes, but also for all the chores that we were left with. I in no way blamed either one of them; I knew it was simply a situation with no resort.

"So, what happened?" Caroline's voice snaps me out of my thoughts. She sounds too cheerful and I realize that it bothers me just a bit.

Tilting my head I finally look at them all and I do that just in time to see Elena nudge Caroline and shake her head as if instructing the blonde to stop questioning. I thank her in my head, however her attempt to shut her friend up is fruitless. Caroline's eyes are back on me and I understand that there's no way out.

"Nothing." I finally answer and watch her eyebrow rise. Clearly such explanation doesn't sate her hunger. "I just didn't sleep well, my head hurts and I'm just feeling grumpy for no reason."

I don't plan on telling her anything else, whether she likes it or not. But, from what I see, she's either happy with my answer, or not bothered enough to pry more.

"It looks like you need something to get your mind off of… _whatever's_ happening." She speaks, unable to hide that she's not at all concerned. When I think about it, I appreciate her not pushing it any further. "There's a party tonight and you should definitely go."

"I don't party." I blurt out as soon as she's over with her sentence and immediately regret it. Three pairs of eyes are on me now and I feel my cheeks getting hotter. "I mean… it's Monday and a school night."

"Oh relax, it's just a little gathering, that is all." Caroline waves her hand, utterly amused from what it seems.

"Yeah, you should come." Matt speaks and somehow I find it more difficult to say _no_ to him than her.

I pick at my fingernails, biting my lip. I'm not thinking about actually going, now am I?

I know that dad would freak out if he knew and somehow my current mood is light-years away from any parties. But maybe it is what I need after all?

"Well, if you decide to come, it's in the Mayor's mansion up the hill. Tyler, his son, is quite a jock, but he invites decent crowd and provides beer." Matt smiles and I can't help myself but do the same.

"I'll keep that in mind." I answer and get myself busy with food instead on the conversation that leaves me little less than interested.

For the remaining of the lunch break I keep myself out of their conversations. Caroline is thrilled to go out and starts announcing everyone what she's going to wear. Elena is less chatty and instead discusses the transportation with Matt.

Even if I was interested, I have no car. I could, off course, ask them to take me, but it would not only create an inconvenience, but would leave me dependent on other people. And that I hated.

For a moment there I catch myself thinking whether Kai would come as well. The thought makes me scan people around us, thinking whether he was here, but as soon as I don't see a familiar grin in the crowd I go back to playing with my pasta.

I don't know why I would even think about him. That arrogant rude kid was the cause of my headache. Surely he doesn't go to parties, but instead frequents all the dark nasty places in town with his gang of misfits, wreaking havoc and taunting girls.

And even if all I feel towards him is anger, I can't stop thinking about that dark gaze of his. For a moment there I realize that I'm thinking just what exact color his eyes are.

…

"I'm home!" I should after locking the door. "Dad?"

Silence greets me as I stand still for a moment, listening for any sounds that would come from the house. There are no voices, footsteps or familiar noise of TV. At that moment I realize that I'm all alone.

I don't mind it, but this house still feels foreign to me and at some point I wish my dad was here.

I grab some food and make it to the bedroom, plopping down on the bed and closing my eyes even if just for a bit. I'm probably too tired to even sleep as I turn to one side and then the other only to sit up again.

What frightens me is the fact that I'm still thinking about going to the party. I could count ones I've been to before on my fingers and in the end I would still need only two. I know I have to choose my books and preparation for tomorrow's classes, but some sort of morbid interest haunts me. I don't know what I expect to see there, but after all that's happened, I'm pretty sure that socializing for a bit – even if it means only talking to Matt or Elena – would take my mind off of it all.

With a sight and a scold I get out of the bed and open my wardrobe. What do people even wear to parties? I don't have any fancy clothes at all. Even after going through every article of clothing, all I manage to come up with is a white blouse and black jacket.

After getting dressed I look at the mirror. If not for blue jeans, I would look like someone who's going to a job interview rather than a party, but I make myself a mental note that I don't really care. I'm going there to have an hour of fun and not to impress someone. After my inner monologue is over, I brush my hair and tie them in a neat ponytail before scribbling a note to my dad and leaving in a haste.

I turn my navigation on and follow the directions to where I need to be. Snow cracks under my feet and fumes roll with my every breath, reminding me of comfort that I'm missing out when walking to where I'm not even sure I want to be. But my feet carry me forward and despite my better judgment I don't instruct them otherwise.

It takes just a bit over half an hour and I'm already standing in front of a huge mansion. All of it is surrounded by carelessly parked cars and I can swear that I see toilet paper coming from the roof in more than one place. So this is the kind of a party I came to? Clearly Caroline wasn't aware of the meaning behind words _little gathering_.

I hear music blaring from the inside and I beat myself a bit more for coming here. It's too late to turn around and I'm too cold to even think about it. Either way, I only came here for an hour so I better make the best out of it.

I step inside and the stench of alcohol and cigarettes hit me immediately. I admit, it's warm in here – almost hot – and I take off my jacket and the scarf before taking a look around.

I recognize some of the faces from school or even classes, but the majority of people I have never seen before. I could swear that most of them look a bit too old to be high school students.

"Hi, glad you could make it. I'm Tyler." Voice on my right makes me jump a little and the boy laughs in return.

I turn my head to look at the jock Matt told me about only to be greeted by the widest and whitest smile I've ever seen. I have to admit – he's quite attractive. I wonder whether it's a universal thing once it comes to all the athletes and whether he's just as conceited as most of them are.

"And she lost her gift of speech, ladies and gentleman!" He speaks again, leaving no doubts about my last question. I'm happy that the music is louder than his voice and that only few people look at me for a second before getting back to their conversations.

"Sorry." I raise my voice under a false pretense that I'm trying to be louder so he could hear me. Actually I'm just annoyed and a bit of yelling seems to be a perfect outlet. "I'm Bonnie. Great party!"

I can sense that he's not buying it. Be it because of his grin or the way he rolls his eyes, but at that point all I wish for is for this uncomfortable meeting to end.

"Sorry, I'm going to say hi to my friends." I say before making my way through the crowd. I'm not lying. Well, not exactly. I think I saw Elena, but as I near to the corner she's sitting, my eyes widen at the scene.

It _is_ Elena, but I can't believe whom she's sitting with. Kai. Well, sitting _with_ would be a generous way to describe the scene. More accurate way would be to say that she's so close to him that their legs are intertwined whilst her fingers are lost in his hair.

No, I'm not judging. Well… maybe just a little bit. It's difficult for me to wrap my mind around it. He was a scoundrel and she seemed to be so sweet.

Yet the thing that fascinates me the most is Kai's expression which remains untouched by any emotion. Despite the fact that he has a girl practically sitting on his lap with a dress that leaves very little to the imagination, he seems to be more interested in what his friends are talking about than her. I can see how desperately she's trying to get his attention; murmuring something to his ear and running her fingers through his hair, but all she manages to get in return is a floppy arm flung around her shoulder and an occasional nod every once in a while. I almost feel sorry for her, but then I remind myself that there's nothing else to gain from people like him and she should know it.

And just as I'm about to turn around and leave this party for good, Kai's gaze shifts and suddenly meets mine. I'm perfectly aware of how pathetic I look standing in the crowd of people. Alone. Staring.

Even from the distance I can see a shade of surprise flashing across his features, but just as any other of his emotions it becomes obsolete very quickly.

In a moment's time Elena's eyes follow the direction he's looking at only to find me at the end of it. I try to smile awkwardly and wave at her only to be met by an amused grimace and wave of laughter. Soon enough everybody form Kai's circle have their eyes on me and at that very moment I want to spontaneously burst in flames.

"Bonnie, you came!" I hear cheery voice behind me and words seem to be a little bit slurred.

Before I even think about turning around I feel an arm landing on my shoulder as I'm pulled in a hug and have my face buried in blond locks as a consequence.

Caroline was not the person I was very thrilled to be hanging with, but at that particular moment I made a mental note to thank her.

"And I see you met Katherine." She comments almost shouting, her gaze now fixed on the mob in front. Confused I look at them and the girl she called Katherine grimaces before getting back to what she was doing before – trying to get Kai's attention.

His gaze is still on me, I notice.

"Ka… Katherine?" I finally speak and surprise in my voice is what makes Caroline giggle and finally turn her attention back on me.

"Yeah, she's Elena's twin sister. But, trust me, looks is the _only_ thing they have in common." Her tone of voice and the way she rolls her eyes is more than enough for me to feel certain that they're not on good terms. I, however, don't want to talk about it anymore. If anything, I'd gladly leave as I still feel a pair of eyes lingering on me.

"So, where's Matt and Elena?" I question, hoping that they're somewhere in a general vicinity of _far far away_.

"Probably somewhere dull, being their dull selves." She answers with a chuckle. Every word that comes out only proves that she is drunk. "But you're not dull, right?"

Before I can even open my mouth to tell her that I might be dull compared to her standards, she's already pulling me away. I'm sort of grateful, but I can't help myself but look over my shoulder at Kai. For another moment he's still looking at me, but as I get further, his gaze goes back to his friends.

"Here. Hold it." Caroline hands me her cup and starts rummaging through bottles upon bottles lined on the kitchen counter. I look at the contents of the cup and lightly pink liquid tells me that she's well beyond drinking beer and therefore well beyond being sober. Or making good decisions.

She grabs her cup and finds another one, filling them both with clear liquid and adding some juice into the mixture.

"Drink up." She hands me one cup before taking big gulp of her own. To my disadvantage she seems to be a bit more persistent than when she's sober. Her eyebrows rise as she waits for me to join her, chin tilted in encouragement.

At the same precise moment I feel my phone buzzing in my pocket and take a deep breath, thanking whoever was calling for taking the edge away from this uncomfortable situation.

"Sorry." I speak, waving flashing device and gesturing that I'll be outside. She sighs and rolls her eyes, but at that point I'm already almost at the door.

"Hi dad." I squeal once I'm outside and a bit further away from all the noise. I don't really want him to know how big of a party this is.

"Bon, where are you?" He sounds worried and I can't help myself but feel a pang of guilt for making him like that.

"I'm still at the party, but I'll be leaving soon." I'm not lying. So far I saw nothing that would hold me here. Sure, I'm a bit worried about Caroline. But that's exactly why I reserved those ten minutes instead of leaving instantly – I want to find someone who could take care of her.

"Do you want me to take you?"

"No, dad, I'm fine. It's not that far away from home and you know that I don't mind walking." I smile while I talk, knowing that it will make it easier for him to believe me. Not that I was lying, off course.

"Fine. I'll be waiting." He says and after a moment hangs up.

I know he's not happy. That was one of the reasons why I didn't go to parties – I knew how much my dad hated it and how worried he was that something will happen.

After a moment of pondering I become aware of just how cold it is out here; I ran outside in nothing but my little jacket and finally my bad decisions caught up to me.

I swiftly turn around on my heel with every intention to go back inside and find Caroline, but instead I let out a gasp at who I find standing right behind me.

Kai.


	5. Chapter 5

He is too close for comfort and what comforts me even less is that smile that tugs at the corners of his lips.

"Was it your boyfriend?"

"I don't—" I stop myself right there. My instinct was to deny I have one – just as I always did, yet I am reminded that he was told a lie before. And I will surely stick to it. "I don't think it's any of your business."

Overall I give myself few points for finding a way out of this situation; however my answer doesn't seem to satisfy his curiosity. Why would it? My voice is shaky and I crack every here and there. I wrap my arms around myself as shivers roll down my spine. I know it's because the weather outside is freezing, but it makes me wonder whether it's all there is to it.

"You are a terrible liar, Bonnie Bennett."

"Excuse me?" My eyebrow rises as I'm genuinely stunned by his remark.

"You heard me."

It's like a game to him, isn't it? He doesn't move and we remain so close to one another that I could simply lean into him if I moved for as much as an inch.

It is getting uncomfortable and plain awkward. Pulling my best unfazed expression I take a step back only to see him close the distance in an eye blink.

"I need to go." Words come out quietly and I'm not bothered to keep eye contact with him anymore.

I wait for him to step to the side, however he stands there like a marble statue; unmovable and with the smile that never fades. I, however, don't have time for these games, and instead of waiting for a miracle to happen, I myself take a step aside. However, just as I'm about to pass him, taking a deep breath, I feel his fingers wrapped around my elbow and I stop dead in my track.

I refuse to turn around and he doesn't pull me to do so either. He just holds me still and in that moment I can feel his breath on the back of my neck. I expected stench of alcohol, however he smells of… vanilla? It's hard for me to make a connection, as the odor is not something I would associate him with.

Only at that moment I realize that instead of confronting him or trying to break free, I stand there speechless whilst trying to figure out what he smells like. _Smart, Bonnie_.

"You should take care of your friend." He speaks and even if I can't see him, I know that he's mere inches away from my ear. Hairs on the back of my neck stand up and I close my eyes in what only feels like fear or repulsion. "You know, the blonde one. She does need someone sober before she makes any bad choices."

And with that his grip lifts and the warmth disappears. Instead of taking a moment to look at him, I start walking – almost running – towards the mansion with my arms still firmly wrapped around my frame. Only before entering the den of safety do I cast a look at the general direction of where we stood, but I see nothing.

"Caroline!" I shout, scouting the crowd and trying to be louder than the music or the laughter is.

She might not be my friend, but I can't leave her be. Especially after Kai's words that still ring in my ears.

I shake my head brushing the thought away and give it another go to try and call her name, but I already know that this won't work.

I want to go, I really do, but my heart is pounding just because I can't see her anywhere. For a moment there I'm in panic, but I close my eyes and breathe once I see her leaning to the wall and chatting with few guys.

One I see clearly – handsome, tall and he has a smile most women would die for.

The other, however, has his back on me and I, if I'm being honest, am not that interested at all.

"Caroline, here you are! We need to go." I use my most cheerful voice and wrap my arms around her shoulders. I don't want to create an impression that I'm trying to interfere. I rather make it look like I'm a bit tipsy and I missed my friend very much.

"Bonnie." Caroline hiccups and giggles. For a moment there I press her shoulders a bit harder. "Meet Kol and Jake."

I smile at the one she referred to as Kol – the handsome guy I already gave few seconds of fame to. But before my sane mind manages to make a connection, I hear Jake speak and my heart stops for a moment.

"Well, hello again, beautiful."

I look at that revolting grin that distorts his features and that evening he had me cornered in an empty street flashes right before my eyes. I should feel more scared, maybe that would help me from running my mouth. But at that point I'm nothing more but furious.

"We'll be leaving now." I blurt out, giving Caroline a gentle tug.

"Oh come on!" I hear Jake complain, but at that point I'm already storming out of the room and into the kitchen, pulling barely conscious Caroline after.

"What the hell, Bonnie?" She slurs and I want to smack her. "I was just chatting…"

"They're bad news." I interrupt her mid-sentence, my voice rising higher than anticipated. It seems to work, though, as now she just looks at me, her eyes wide.

I expect questions to be asked and I'm already preparing answers that would not get me involved in a deep conversation, but she simply leans to the counter, knocking few empty cups off. I watch them fall and litter the floor.

"Give me your phone." I command, perfectly aware that she will not remember the way I treated her.

Few blinks and incomprehensible mumbles later I have the device in my hand. I know it's futile to go looking for Matt or Elena here, I also know that they are the only ones I can trust to take Caroline home.

"Hello, Caroline?" I hear Matt's voice.

"Matt, hi. It's Bonnie. Where are you?" My short sentences and straightforward questions probably leave little to be desired.

"I… ummm… I'm taking Elena home." I can hear he's confused, but somehow it doesn't affect me.

"Can you please come to the party? I need to you to drive Caroline home." I look at her as I speak and the discontent is clearly set in her features. She rolls her eyes and sighs and I can bet that all she's thinking about is going back there and flirting with Kol and Jake some more.

The thought makes me shiver.

"Yeah, sure. Will be there in ten minutes."

It's surprising how kind he is. I wonder whether I had any people like him; ones who wouldn't ask twice if they had to do something for their friend in trouble. Probably not.

"I think I'm going to be sick." I hear Caroline's weak voice that has me running to her and pulling her hair away from her face just in time. It's lucky that she was standing right next to the sink rather than adding yet another thing Tyler will have to clean tomorrow.

I, however, find myself not concerned about the alternative at all.

I spend next ten minutes with Caroline. Holding her hair, stroking her back and making sure she drinks enough water. It reminds me of those times when I had to do the same thing for my mother, but I do my best to push it aside. After all, I haven't thought about it for a while now, and I'm not about to start again.

"Bonnie." I hear Matt's voice and my heart sings in joy. "How is she?"

"Well, I dare to say that tomorrow might be a difficult day to her. Thanks for coming."

"No problem, I couldn't leave her alone. Help me get her to the car?"

We help her get her arms around our shoulders and start walking outside. I grab my coat the last moment, yet neither the timing nor the position allows me to do anything else with it, but carry it in my hand.

Chilly breeze welcomes me as soon as I'm outside and I immediately regret my decision. It's quite wonderful how cold it gets here in the middle of November, but that must be because New York was never particularly cold of a city. I was born and molded in an environment that wasn't but at all similar to this one.

When I think about it, it's not only the climate that I'm still not used to.

"Alright, watch her head. Easy." Matt instructs after opening the door of his truck and we help Caroline get to the back seat. It seems that just as silence and warmth engulfs her, she drifts off to sleep within seconds. It makes me giggle and so Matt follows my example.

"Hey, do you need a ride or anything?" He questions, warmth of his blue eyes more powerful than the one coming from inside the car.

I have to admit – the idea is tempting. I'm not at all thrilled to walk for another half an hour in this weather, but even if my mind instructs me otherwise, I'm already putting on my coat and tying my scarf.

"I think you should take her home." I remark with an assuring smile. I truly can be good of an actress. "After all, I live close by."

"Are you sure?"

"Perfectly sure. See you tomorrow!" Against my better judgment, my feet start carrying me away from him and I wave nonchalantly even if I _wish_ I was more selfish as to ask for a ride.

I don't know why, but I can simply sense that this would be inconvenient for him and I hate being a nuisance. The only thing that keeps me going is that my hands are getting toastier in my gloves every second.

Snow squeaks under my feet, but I prefer that sound over anything that I've heard in the party. Starting with the music that gave me a headache and ending with Kai's voice.

The thought alone makes me close my eyes; I always do that when I try to forget about something unpleasant. As if closing my eyes and taking a deep breath would help to empty my brain.

Sometimes it does.

As I come close to the house I can see lights still on in our living room and I immediately know that dad is pacing back and forth worrying.

I know that I took longer than I said and that I didn't have the decency to call him. I know that he will be unhappy – or mad even – but suddenly I feel too tired for a scolding.

"Hi dad!" I yell and start removing my coat.

"Are you okay?" These are the first words he says; at the same time, these are the words that make my heart ache. Now I know why I have so little of social life – he would simply worry too much despite my best effort to prove that I am responsible.

"Yeah, sorry, I got stuck there helping a friend." I smile weakly, but try to turn it into a wide and cheery smile.

"You could've called." He starts, hands behind his back and disapproval clear in his features.

"I know, I'm sorry." I admit my mistake without bothering to argue. I could try to and I would probably win, but the previous fatigue that was haunting me the whole day is taking over and I almost ache to run upstairs and catch a decent night's sleep.

"Alright."

This one word tells me just how concerned and unhappy he was. And yet instead of confronting him or apologizing once more, I drag my feet up the stairs and into my room. I know that we'll have plenty of time to discuss my behavior when driving to school tomorrow. Maybe he saw the weariness in my eyes, or maybe he's just as tired. Either way, my conscience is clear tonight.

I shed my clothes and go take a quick shower for the sole purpose of getting warmed up.

A shiver or two still roll down my spine as I look for my pajamas and I turn to the window just to check whether it's closed. What fascinates me is the darkness outside. New York was never dark; all the lights from the streets and buildings made it seem like the day never ended there. Here, however, I stand in front of the window, looking at pitch-black night outside without a worry in the world. Some would be frightened or uncomfortable with it, but I was never a child who had to sleep with my lights on.

I smile and pull fluffy shirt on before going back to the bed and folding the clothes I wore today.

Some strange instinct has me lift my hands and smell the jacket. I recognize my perfume – lily, tuberose and sandalwood. Yet lingering there in that familiar bouquet I can still smell faint odor of vanilla.

The thought makes my stomach turn.

Without another doubt I toss my jacket to the laundry bin and slide under the blanket.


	6. Chapter 6

Days come and go without anything major happening. It is finally the pace I revel in and can finally breathe.

I haven't seen Kai since that night at the party. His desk remains empty for the rest of the week and I sometimes catch myself wondering just where exactly he might be. I don't know the reason behind my twisted curiosity, but at that time I doubt there is one.

Friday's almost done with and I can't wait to get home and hide in my room for the next two days, wrapped up in blankets and reading a good book. It was my definition of a perfect weekend no matter what anybody else said.

I see Elena in the hallway chatting with a boy and wave at her. Her warm smile is so easy to adore and it makes me think just how different she and her twin sister are.

Her twin sister. In a ridiculously short dress. Her fingers in Kai's hair.

I close my eyes and shake my head just slightly trying to get the image out of my head. More than that – I want to get Kai out of my head altogether.

"Hey, Bonnie, are you okay?" I hear concern lacing Elena's words as she comes closer and all I can do is smile and nod.

"Yeah. Sorry, got lost in thought."

"Well, I want you to meet my brother. Jeremy."

I look at the boy trying to read his facial expression. A smile is etched in his features, however his gaze that is fixed on me doesn't reflect the same emotion.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Bonnie. Which you probably got the moment Elena addressed me." I babble and I know it. Nervous laughter rolls down my tongue and I shake my head. Despite my clear awkwardness, it seems that both of them found it funny too.

"Really? No; here I was _still_ wondering." He answers with a hint of harmless sarcasm and that makes me giggle again.

I'm so awkward when it comes to boys. It's not because I flirt with them, it's rather the fact that no one ever showed any interest in me and I had little to no interactions with the opposite sex. For them I was the bookworm girl who always chose literature over the real people.

Not much has changed here, but in this town people still gave me a chance instead of mocking me and I couldn't allow myself not to do the same.

After all, I have to admit that he's definitely good looking. I have to tilt my head in order to look at his face as he's much taller than me. His dark longish hair and broad shoulders add up to an image that girls from my previous school would refer to as _dreamy_.

And I was more interested why his smile never transferred to his eyes.

"Well, it was nice to meet you." I blurt out, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks and stay there. "I wish we could chat, but my class starts in few minutes and I still have things to grab before I head there."

I feel obliged to explain myself so they wouldn't think I'm crazy. I wave and smile before turning round the corner but that smile fades just as quickly.

I see Katherine and Kai standing right next to my locker and the two of them don't seem to be aware of hundreds of people that surround them. If they were, I doubt that her tongue would be crammed so deep down his throat.

This time I satisfy the urge to roll my eyes just because I know that they won't see it.

"Excuse me." I mutter, but it seems to have little impact. I see their bodies shift, but it's not for much more than few inches. _Very helpful_.

I enter the code and pull at the door that is always jammed, trying to open them without hitting the impersonation of bad taste standing right next. It opens up with a loud creek, but what is worse is the fact that I had so many books and notepads crammed in there that as a consequence, some of them end up on a floor after creating a loud thudding noise.

That seems to do the trick, however, as I hear Katherine clear her throat rather dramatically whilst I kneel on the ground trying to pick up my things as fast as possible.

"Here, let me help you." I hear and for a moment I hope that it's not Kai who's rushing to my aid. Off course, for me to think that he would as much as lift a finger for someone else's benefit was silly. Instead I see Jeremy crouching next to me and picking up my things.

"Thanks." I whisper silently, perfectly aware that we have two people looking at us as if we're in the zoo.

And that's rich coming from them, giving the fact that they were putting up a show they should charge for a minute of.

"Don't worry. Listen, I was thinking that I… uh…" He hands me my books and I stand up to try and fit them all back to my locker. "Maybe you would… want to grab a bite to eat this weekend. Or something? Whatever."

I turn around to look at him, books still in my hands, just to see a light shade of pink coloring his cheeks and him awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

 _Is he asking me out on a date?_

The thought is scary just because it's the first time someone actually did that.

I hear someone hiss at my side and I shift my gaze only to see Katherine roll her eyes. She, however, seems to be more interested in Kai's chest as her fingers lazily circle the material of his shirt.

Kai, though… well, his expression was always a mystery to me and nothing changes now either. I try to read it, however he must be either too good at manipulation or my senses are completely off. If anything, he looks both annoyed and condescending at the same time. As his eyes are fixed on me, I see his upper lip twitch in contempt as if me, Jeremy or this whole scene is beyond him.

And somehow, subconsciously I blurt out a _yes_ , only driven by a thought of how this affects the one who's never concerned enough to show any emotions at all.

"Really? I mean… it's great!" Jeremy's genuinely thrilled and at that precise moment I feel like the tiniest and worst person of them all.

"Yeah, I… let me give you my number." I finally speak, perfectly aware that it's too late to back out.

I scribble few digits on a piece of paper, fold it neatly and hold it out for him to take. He doesn't hesitate for as much as a second and soon the paper is in his pocket and his smile is as wide as ever.

"Great! I… I'll text you!"

I watch him disappear, completely oblivious to the fact that I'm not alone in one of the very few intimate moments I've had. Said intimacy, however is being so easily shattered to smithereens by an over-dramatic cough.

"Well, I see someone's getting busy with my kid brother. I'd say that he definitely needs someone to teach him some things, but, I mean… who am I kidding."

I feel my cheeks flush as I swiftly turn around and almost walk into the locker so to stop this confrontation from getting more awkward. If that's even possible.

Her laughter that follows makes me shiver with shame and anger, but I take a deep breath and slam the door shut.

"It's nice of you to get your head out of someone else's mouth long enough to actually see what happens around you." I answer, completely dumbfounded by the words that leave me. It's so not… _typical_ of me; I'm used to taking every blow with straight face and in silence. Did this town and this school wreck me this much?

"Excuse me." I mutter after the wave of irritation washes over me and rolls back. I'm not proud of what I said, but my excuses sound just as fake as her laughter does. It's just a figure of speech.

Without wasting another breath I leave them standing there. To be honest, I couldn't leave fast enough as I catch myself practically running and only once my back is against a wall somewhere on the second floor do I stop to breathe. I rest my palms on my knees until I catch my breath.

I feel the phone vibrating in my pocket and read a message after I take it out with my clumsy fingers.

 _'_ _Tonight, 7pm Mystic Grill? – Jeremy.'_

My smile lasts for only a minute as the realization that this is actually happening hits me. It is my first date (unless we count study dates), and I'm still too inexperienced to enjoy it the way it's meant to be enjoyed. What stresses me even more is that little doubt inside, making me wonder whether I'm doing it for all the right reasons.

Why was it so easy to decide after seeing the look on Kai's face?

Why did I blurt out such a strong yes once I saw that upper lip of his curl in annoyance?

Running fingers through my hair I decide not to overthink it. After all, it's just one date after which he will probably think that I'm the dullest person ever. And if that happens – I'm fine with it.


	7. Chapter 7

_Is this really what you're going to wear to your date?_ ;— For some reason I hear Kai's voice in my head as I lay down my clothes on the bed. Shaking my head in frustration, I give myself a decent scolding for letting him in. I have no idea what power that boy holds over me, but I can't seem to shake him off. At first I thought of Kai as being obsessive, yet right now I'm wondering whether it was me all along.

"You look nice." I hear my dad greet me as I descend down the stairs dressed in a blue knee-long skirt and white cardigan.

His words make me smile; off course he liked it when his little girl dressed like a nun. More than that – I liked it too.

To balance out my humble looks, I've spent more time than usual making sure my dark hair was curled to perfection. I also applied few layers of mascara – something I've done once or twice in my life. Either way, I decide that I look pretty decent despite the nagging voice in the back of my head telling me that this wasn't Sunday church.

"I'll be back at home by ten." I announce, taking the car keys and jingling them just to make dad aware.

I can hear him in the kitchen now, however he offers me no response. I know that dad must still feel a bit sour after my last outing, yet I've always been so obedient that he simply can't hold it against me for too long.

I practically run to the car once I'm outside and turn the heater all the way up when I'm in. It's not that cold per se, however the dampness adds up to the effect, making me feel like a wet kitten chilled to the very bone.

Path to the grill is not too long – normally I wouldn't even care to drive – however I like the feeling of control. I remember my friends laughing at them when I tried to explain how perfect of an analogy of life it is – to hold something in your hands and know that it obeys only you even if you're so tiny in comparison. It still made no sense to them, despite my hand gestures and heated explanation; only then did I realize that controlling everything in my life was strictly _my thing_.

I pull into a full parking lot and spend few minutes trying to find a spot. It so seems that no parties are taking place tonight, therefore everybody will be spending their time in the grill. _Wonderful_.

Taking off my coat and taking a look around I realize that I'm not mistaken; every table seems to be taken. Mostly all of the people were from school, some shooting pool or playing darts, others… waving at me with the brightest smile on their face. _Jeremy_.

"It's a busy night." I speak as I get to the table he's sitting at. So far my speech seems to be perfectly nonchalant and not at all nervous.

"I hope it's not a problem." He replies and I see the smile changing into a little worried frown.

"Nope." I answer sitting down and trying my best to put on a wide smile that, actually, seems to work. "I will just speak a little bit louder that is all."

My statement seems to work as Jeremy laughs before waving at the waitress. We place our orders – I chose tea and French fries and once the girl leaves us, not only do I feel his eyes on me, but also immense pressure to keep the conversation going.

"So… How was your day?" I blurt out, completely aware that I'm not much of a conversation starter.

"Much better now." His answer, mixed with that lovely smile, makes my cheeks burn.

Before I open my mouth to say something completely irrelevant, I'm interrupted by loud laughter and swears coming from a table nearby. Thankfully, it gets Jeremy's attention too as both of our gazes shoot towards the crowd there.

Some of the boys I saw before – Jake and Kol were the loudest ones. I'd like to say that they were also the most interesting, however jokes about their nights spent with different girls just don't do it for me. I see Jeremy's upper lip curl just a bit and the fact that he's not that tolerant towards back-alley humor makes me appreciate his presence.

"Who are they?" I question in a moment, trying to keep my voice low enough so that they wouldn't hear, but at the same time audible to the person it was directed towards.

"Scum." His answer is short and straight to the point. It makes me flinch.

The way he refers to them carries some sort of an undertone I don't quite understand and it makes me curious. After all, there were tens of different words he could've used to describe them, however not only did he chose the harshest one, but also made it sound as there was some sort of a personal vendetta going on between them.

"Did they…" I start, not quite sure how to finish. "Did they do anything to you?"

I see Jeremy's cheeks flush bright red and immediately regret my question. So far this date is going worst than I thought.

"No, not really." His gaze is glued to the table rather than me. "However I might just be one of the lucky few."

 _What were those guys?_ My gaze flies towards them again, wandering whether they were something more than high school band of misfits. Calling them bandits would be quite of a stretch, given the fact that only select few were older than me. Lost in thought I gawk, until I realize that someone saw me staring. Direction of my gaze shifts only to see Kai who was just as bold to be staring at me with the same intensity I did at his friends.

For a moment there I wonder whether it's my curse to run into him every time I leave the house. Off course, I'm thankful that I don't see him sauntering around my back yard – which I believe would seem completely normal to him. However, I saw more of him this past week than I did of people I actually like. And that was quite unnerving.

Only after my inner debate is over do I realize that I was looking at him the whole time. Once my focus returns, I see a wicked little smirk tug at the corner of his lips and I dart my eyes to the table.

"Did you hear what I just said?" I hear Jeremy's voice and the question is completely mortifying. How distracted was I not to hear a word?

"I… yeah, sorry. Can you repeat it?" I try to recover from the situation only to see his eyebrow shoot up in question. I do hope that question remains unsaid.

"I asked if you wanted to go somewhere else."

I have to admit, the offer is tempting. But I don't want to be fazed by Kai, nor do I want to be an inconvenience.

I shake my head and smile.

"No, it's fine. Our orders should be coming shortly. I wouldn't want that to be in vain."

Jeremy's smile resumes and I take a deep breath, praying that the awkwardness is over. Even if I don't bother looking at Kai again, I can swear that I see his gaze glued on me with the corner of my eye.

"Will you excuse me?" I ask Jeremy, standing up.

He nods and I make my way towards the bathroom, maneuvering around groups of people all standing in their circles and chatting.

Once there I wash my hands and stare at the mirror, trying to figure out just what exactly my problem is.

I am here with one of the sweetest guys I met in this town, and yet instead of enjoying the time I find myself thinking about Kai. I don't know why thoughts about him slither in my head, especially when all I know about the guy is the fact that he's just as vile as a snake. And yet despite that voice of sanity in my head, I wonder what he's doing there? Why is he not laughing when his friends are? Why does he always stare?

I splash some cold water on my face careful enough so not to ruin my make-up. Hopefully it will help me snap out of this state of mind I'm in.

If it was up to me, I would stand there longer; however I don't want to leave Jeremy sitting there alone.

Without even thinking of how busy this place is, I practically storm out the bathroom and, surely enough, I run into someone on my way.

"Sorry." I mutter, straightening my skirt before I tilt my head up just to see that it was Kai standing in front of me.

I see that his hand and the front of his shirt are stained by contents of his cup that I knocked out of him. I might not know what was inside, however of one thing I'm certain – he looks furious.

"Are you blind?" I hear him hiss and it makes me flinch. Even if our interactions were minimal, he always sounded somewhat… _calm_. This change, however, is far from a pleasant one.

"I…" My voice cracks and I have to clear my throat before continuing. "I'm sorry. Honestly. I haven't seen you there."

"Well, maybe you shouldn't walk around with your eyes closed next time." I can almost taste venom dripping from his words.

"Well, maybe you shouldn't lounge next to the ladies' bathroom then."

His eyes widen and so do mine. Never in my life was I ever rude towards someone; actually even towards ones who insulted or bullied me. He, however, seems to be pushing all the wrong buttons. If he's surprised about my behavior, then I'm ten times more amazed at this new Bonnie. I feel my hands curl into fists.

"Where should I be then? Keeping your boyfriend company?" Once again his voice goes back to normal. No, not normal; I can see his eyes spark with that hint of mischievousness and his lips form into that maddening smirk again.

"How about keeping your _girlfriend_ company?" I retort.

"Are you jealous?" His question makes me burn with white-hot rage. Who does he think he is?

"Why do you have to be so…" I start, however words get stuck in my throat as he leans in closer. I can see little dimples forming and that is a sign that we're definitely too close.

I take a step back, trying to stand my ground, however he doesn't let me. It's like a fun game to him, isn't it? A dance.

I take another step and yet he still comes closer and closer until my back is against the wall and he is mere inches away from me.

I can, once again, smell vanilla on him.

"Move." I bark out a command, however my voice trembles.

"Or what?" He challenges me at the same time placing his hand right above my shoulder, leaning to the wall. Now I'm definitely stuck in a very uncomfortable situation.

 _Or what?_ It leaves me wondering what I should do. Off course, the obvious idea of kicking him crosses my mind, however I know that it wouldn't go without any repercussions. Who knows what will happen if I run into him or his clique in a dark alley again.

I turn my head to the side, attempting to show that I will be ignoring him. It is a weak gesture, however it's the only other one that I can think of. I stare into the distance rather than him, praying that this will be enough to make him go away.

"You look scared." He murmurs and it makes me painfully aware of just how close his lips are to my ear.

"I would use the word _annoyed_." I answer.

"Either way, it's a good shade on you. Makes you seem a little less like a perfect girl from suburbs." His voice sends shivers down my spine and just for a moment I stand there wandering whether it was because of what he said, or the fact that I can almost feel his lips brushing against my skin.

"What did I ever do to you?" I turn my head to face him. What pains me is not that fact that my voice is meek and silent, but that instead of focusing on it, I notice how green his eyes are.

My question seems to catch him off-guard. Even I'm wondering why I chose those words to appeal to someone as insensitive as him. Those green eyes, however, seem to be searching my face for answers.

"Maybe," he speaks and I listen, because that icy voice changes into a bit softer one. I try not to think about how psychotic must he be to change his attitude so often. "I simply find you… interesting."


End file.
